My Happiest Age is ‘Now’

It’s 3:30 a.m. and what else would a writer be doing besides sleeping at this hour? Writing, duh!

I had a thought…

Going back to school at the age of 25 isn’t the worst decision I’ve made. In fact, I’ve made worse decisions in my life. Strangely enough, I’ve gone all my life without any regrets–until now.

I figured every time someone would tell me, ‘It’s never too late to get started on your career’–they were being honest, when the only honesty is that those people were just being polite.

What was it that changed, why 25 and not 19? Well, let’s see: 25 is prime time for humans–we’re the fittest, brightest, and sharpest tool in the shed. At 25 we’re likely to be stronger than we’ll ever be. As soon as 25 is over and done, those qualities start to decline. While it was the best idea in the world to start living life for me and doing what makes me happy–you know, doing what I felt I was put on this planet to do–it would’ve been in my best interest if I had decided to do so a few years prior to 25.

I can say that my thought process is definitely more fine-tuned than it was at 25. My focus is finally leaning towards the more important, goal-oriented things in life–my mind at 29 has the end-result into focus, something which was non-existent when I was 18 years old.

They say we must live for our own happiness, and I stand with this idea 100%. However, when you share a life with someone else, their happiness must also be taken into consideration. Let’s not forget the idea of partnership.

Yes, I was late for the bus, but I’m so thankful it waited for me. Four years later and I’m still looking at about 2-3 more years of higher education…This is a gloomy thought because H-E-L-L-O, I want children!

Good news! The wonderful modern times of today’s technology allow women to give birth at an older age–which is absolutely splendid, and I can’t wait! …But first things first, right? I need to finish what I came here to do, which is to complete my education. I want to be absolutely sure I will be locking myself into a career that I know I’ll be satisfied with 10-20 years down the road.

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City To Countryside via Free People

My only regret is that I didn’t go straight to college right after high school–in fact my entire regret is that I didn’t finish high school on time, then gone off to college with the rest of my class at the age of 18. I wish I would’ve learned at a younger age, developed my sense of Self, travelled, and seen what the world had to offer. I’m limited at my old age, and while I’m still doing 3 out of the 4 things just mentioned–I realize now that life isn’t so bad after all.

The things I wanted in my life at the ripe age of 18 had nothing to do with any type of future goal. I couldn’t even comprehend the difference between buying or renting a home, and perhaps this is due to my upbringing, but most 18 year olds only have a few things on their mind, and running a big corporation, or having their first book title picked out–isn’t one of them.  I think I would’ve wasted a ton of money trying to figure things out back then. I wasn’t focused, and wasn’t interested in anything besides the now back then.

Fast forward eleven years, and there is definitely an end-result within focus. I know what I want, and I can actually catch glimpses of it when I fantasize about my future. My future comes with some limitations given that I’m cureently at the seasoned age of 29.

Recognizing what the future might hold for me is important because I don’t want any more surprises than I can handle.

For starters, I’m aware that when I do decide to start adding to my family, it may not even be in the cards for me. I may be too old based on my biological makeup. That’s okay, I have plenty of nieces and nephews–I’m sure my brother and sister-in-law won’t mind sharing. 🙂 In the situation of not having children, I won’t leave it to some higher power to take control of my life–while this notion helps alleviate worry and angst–I will take control and steer my life to the next platform. Children may not be in my future, but I still have one–a future. A road block puts a damper on life, but that doesn’t mean life has to stop. I’m very thankful for this understanding: You have one life, make the best of it no matter what lemons get thrown your way.

Next, I completely understand that if/when I do have children, I know what I want their values to be–because I’ve lived long enough to develop my own. I don’t have to force the traditional childhood values I was raised with on to them. The values I’ve developed over the years are values that have strengthened over time, values in which I chose, values that have shaped who I am becoming–I like who I’m becoming by the way. I left the fairytales and fables behind, because it’s my life and I’m in charge. While I’m not wise enough to know how to raise perfect children (who actually is?) I am wise enough to know that raising children takes more effort than one could ever fathom. Another understanding in which I am grateful for acquiring.

Finally, out of the hundreds of gained insights throughout my 29 years of life on earth–happiness is my favorite. Not the material aspect of happiness, the mere understanding of living a life that truly brings you happiness. The untouchable form of happiness in which can be attained through making others happy for example, or even the happiness where YOU are the sole focus.

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Best Time via BuzzFeed

When I was 18 I wasn’t trying to figure the world out, because I didn’t know anything. I was merely living life each day–day by day. At age 25, I decided that the day-to-day life wasn’t enough for me, and at that time I decided that I wanted more. I changed our lives forever, and at 29 I’m still on the long road to attain happiness. But what I’ve realized along the way is that life, and all the roads within it are happiness. The failures, the successes, the meltdowns, the overjoys, the quiet nights at home, and the crazy nights on the town–they all shape you, and they all bring happiness.

Happiness makes you look back and smile because of all the wonderfully good and bad experiences–those experiences created memories, lessons, and either way they led us to the present. Happiness is not a material thing you buy or a final destination you reach. Happiness is the journey–all the little stops along the way. Happiness is past, present, and future. Our lives are traveling at full speed, so it’s important to pause and notice where or when happiness pays a visit. I’ve learned so much since I was 18, and even since I was 25. I’m looking forward to more learning because I know it doesn’t stop here.

Happy Wednesday!

xx

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2 comments

  1. Aiza Belle

    So much feels there, I can very relate! Sometimes I look back and wish I’ve taken a different course in college, something that I really enjoy, and it sucks when I do a 180-degree turn right now and say I wish I’ve done this earlier. But well, things happen for a reason, and every experience matters. Goodluck! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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